Personal Development

One of the more fascinating discussions I had during SOBCon08 was with Chris Garrett on our way back to the airport (it’s amazing the conversations you can strike up when you are stuck in Chicago traffic!).

We were talking about favorite foods and the discussion led to Indian cuisine, and our favorite types of Indian food. One of those was a dish called Chicken Tikka Masala. It consists of chicken, cooked in a tomato and yogurt based curry. Very good stuff.

Chris then relayed the “legend” of of how this dish came about. It didn’t originate in India, the legend says -it was in Glasgow, in the late 1960s.

Apparently a restaurant patron thought the Chicken Tikka was too dry and asked for more “gravy” (only Chris could do this description justice, so you should ask him to tell this story sometime!). The chef, duly challenged, came up with the Masala we know and love today - in fact, in 2001 it was declared Britian’s “true national dish”.

Why do I bring up this story today? No, I’m not veering this blog into a food and cooking direction (it’s hard for me to boil water so that’s a really bad direction for me).

I recount this conversation because I believe it illustrates so well the power of individual initiative. How a seemingly insignificant idea or request could turn into something with such a profound impact is a great lesson for us all.

The lesson: We CAN make a difference, not only for ourselves, our families, our fellow business associates, or fellow bloggers, but for the world too !

This reminds me of what my friend Lisa Haneberg talks about in her book, “2 Weeks to a Breakthrough” . She writes about “the butterfly effect” - how a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil can trigger a tornado in Texas. One little “flap” can cause a chain reaction. She encourages us to “flap” our wings and make things happen - the more “flaps” the better.

That man in the restaurant in Glasgow flapped his wings, by saying he wanted gravy. The chef flapped his when he whipped up the Masala. Then one of the other patrons tried it, and spread the word. Flap, flap, flap…….

We all have that power, the power to make huge changes happen - the question is, can we use it? WILL we use it? Are we brave enough to think that BIG? Can we really change the world?

The key is to not let our ideas, dreams and desires be held captive by fear, or be discouraged by outside influences.

If you want gravy, you gotta ask for it!

Put some gravy in your life - and believe in the power of you!

April 29, 2008
To the Loyal Readers of RFGHF
Anyplace, Anywhere in the Virtual World

My Dear Readers,

Last night my wife and I watched the final installment of the brilliant “John Adams” mini-series on HBO. The episode featured the amazing letters that Adams and Thomas Jefferson wrote each other during the final chapters in their lives.

Hand-written with great care and conviction, the words flowed like prose, two fathers of our country putting their thoughts on paper for each other to savor.

For some strange reason, the eloquence of those words moved me to tears as I sat there watching and listening. And then it dawned on me – I was actually mourning something that had virtually disappeared from my life, and from the civilization in which I live.

The hand-written word. The formal letter, with all the proper trimmings, punctuation, salutations and sign-offs.

I didn’t realize how much I missed it until that moment.

I thought back more than 30 years ago, when I would anxiously await the local mail delivery person in the hope he or she would be carrying a letter from my girlfriend, who lived 90 miles away. There wasn’t e-mail or instant messaging back then. I couldn’t simply tap out a “hi grlfnd” with a smiley face at a moment’s notice to express my deep innermost feelings.

I had to put them on paper, in my own hand and with all the “properness” I could muster.
There was time to think, time to ponder, and time to construct, a series of words and sentences that actually worked within the framework of proper English usage, and conveyed, because of the intimate nature of this type of correspondence, a great depth of feeling.

I lamented that in this day and age, I don’t do much thinking about my correspondence - I just plant myself in front of a computer (or cradle that Blackberry in my hand), and start banging away at the hundreds of e-mails in my in-box.

And because of time constraints, the responses are typically quick, truncated, pithy, and utterly unmemorable. Grammar, salutations, punctuation, and even spelling are thrown out the window for the utility of immediacy.

Yes, that seems to be the world we’re in today – and I am a full participant, I admit. But I feel sometimes that while my world has grown from a foot to a mile wide because of the power of our digital world, it’s only an inch deep.

21 years ago, my first boss was a great lover of words and language. I recall having to work for hours and hours on a simple inter-office memo to make sure he was pleased with what I had written. He had strict rules for the layout of the memos, down to the use of proper grammar and (of course), proper greetings and sign-offs.

And if you used a word that didn’t fit, he’d call you on it. If something was misspelled, he’d call you on it. As a result my memos ended up being near-literary masterpieces, concise, structured, proper, and above all else, addressed properly.

At the time I hated the lengths I had to go to simply ask permission for something as mundane as procuring a vendor, but now I understand where he was coming from. He died in 1997, before e-mail came into its own, so I often try to think how he would have reacted to that means of communication. Actually, I know how he would have reacted to it- very badly.

He would have said “Oh my dear Terry (yes, he even used proper salutations when he spoke!), yes, e-mail is practical , but I can take no satisfaction from it, like I can with the written and spoken word. I want to have depth! I want to “feel” what you are trying to say, and better judge your intent and character. I can’t do that with a response like “10-4, wl do””

All those memories and lessons bubbled up as I listened to John Adams and Thomas Jefferson’s words, and saw the handwritten letters (and the impeccable penmanship – my handwriting is horrible).

I know I can’t really go back – for example, as much as I wish I could pick up a piece of paper and handwrite all of you a heartfelt note thanking you for reading this blog, I know it can’t come to pass – but I can pledge to put just a little bit more thought, a little more depth, and a better sense of structure into everything I write.

Even on those 140 character “Twitters”.

Because I want you to better judge my character, and figure out if any further reading of these ramblings is really worth your while.

I sincerely hope that you decide in the affirmative.

My Very Best Regards,
Mr. Terry Starbucker

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about complacency - that common side effect of either perceived or actual success.   The definition of “complacent” says it all:

“pleased, esp. with oneself or one’s merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied”

We’re so focused sometimes at the goal itself, we don’t think about what we do when we get there.   Success needs to be sustained, nurtured, and better yet - challenged.

I know that’s an odd thing to say - “we need to challenge our success“.   What it means is that in order to really sustain the positive and fulfilling momentum generated by climbing the mountain, we quite literally need to put another mountain in front of us - preferably one a little bit higher than the last one.

What’s the secret ingredient to a constant challenging of success?  Calvin Coolidge put it best when he said:

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

 

Yes,  persistence is the key.   If we’re not persistently trying to get better, to keep raising the bar, to keep challenging ourselves - sustained success will be indeed be an elusive and frustrating target.

 

That’s why we must always “press on”, and avoid the malady of complacency.

 

It’s a core tenet of the Half Full Philosophy, no doubt about it.

 

Keep climbing! 

I’ve been thinking about happiness a lot lately, because I’ve been talking about it a lot in a business context while I’ve been on the road (see my post “On the Road With Don Quixote“).

I wonder how many people in this world are truly happy, and I find it hard to really come up with a good estimate. It’s hard to tell just by observing all the people who cross my path every day, and time doesn’t allow me to step up to every one of them and ask “hey, are you happy?” (imagine if a stranger walked up to you and asked that question - would you answer?).

But my gut tells me that there are less than there should be, and that feeling comes from my own experience. There are some statistics out there that tend to support this - for example, I recently read about a survey done by Best Life Magazine where they asked 1,026 men ages 30-54 if they were “happy and very successful” , and only 10 percent said they fit this category.

Now that doesn’t mean that the other 90 percent were miserable - I bet a lot of them just didn’t get over the last hurdle.

And it’s a real doozy.

It’s such a tough one because it involves much courage and moxie.

What is it?

The simple act of accepting you are happy.

Think about that one. I believe so many of us are hardwired to approach real happiness warily, like we’re in fear of it. We can experience great moments of bliss, but then some kind of reality mechanism sets in. I wrote about this last December, describing my efforts to stay in what I called the “Happy Place” after a keynote presentation I made at a management meeting.

It’s like happiness is subject to the laws of gravity - the higher we go, the harder we’re going to fall. Bad stuff is going to happen - so we’d rather not be in such a “high” place. We’ll stick to a comfortable equilibrium, not quite so high off the ground, so when the hard stuff comes it won’t be a crash landing.

We do all the very, very hard work of paving our way to happiness, but we just can’t cross the threshold. We can’t just say to ourselves, “I’m happy consciously, constantly, and completely.”

Instead, we often end up saying we don’t “deserve” it, and we back away.

I’m trying to be much more conscious of these times when I’m approaching real happiness - so I can face those fears and leap into that ultimate state of being.

And look back down with a smile, finally knowing that I’m not going to fall.

Lots to cover today, fellow half-fullers, so here goes:

SOBCon (the contest)

Recall last week we launched the 2008 SOBCon Marketing Contest, with a $750 first prize. So far we have 14 different URLs officially registered:

http://www.gitrknowswow.com/
http://businessbloggingtips.com
http://www.officiallifebydesign.com/
http://alexshalman.com/
http://www.adversityuniversityblog.com/
http://hdbizblog.com/blog
http://troyworman.com/
http://brainbasedbiz.blogspot.com
http://moneymakingblogs.com/blog
http://www.smallbizsurvival.com/
http://www.brandandmarket.com/
http://toddjordan.wordpress.com
http://www.confidentwriting.com/
http://blog.looseends.net/

The top 3 URLs so far:

1) http://toddjordan.wordpress.com
2) http://www.gitrknowswow.com/
3) http://hdbizblog.com/blog

It’s not too late to register, since the contest goes through March 15th- just drop me a note at terrystarbucker(at)gmail(dotcom).

And hey, go on and register for SOBCon!

Update on the 30 Day Yoga Challenge

Recall I’ve pledged to practice yoga every day for 30 days as part of a challenge at my local studio. Today is day number 21, and I’ve managed to keep my word so far. There’s nothing like getting up at 5:30AM on the road and plopping my Rodney Yee Yoga DVD into my laptop and hitting the mat.

Rodney’s a yoga “rockstar” for me, because for whatever reason I find his videos to be the best. And he does this stuff with such precision and ease. He’s such a rockstar that when one of the owners of my studio recently mentioned that he practiced yoga with Rodney Yee, it was like he had jammed with Led Zeppelin. “You practiced with Rodney Yee - awesome“!

A rock idol in my lifetime, yes (see Elton John) - but a “yoga idol“? Life is too funny.

Oh, one other thing - I mentioned I wanted to learn something from all of this. Well, my sore shoulder, hip and knee all agree that I’ve learned this so far - I shouldn’t practice every day. Oh to be 25 again……..

End World Hunger…..One Grain of Rice at a Time

Dr. Delaney Kirk tagged me (or challenged me, really) to go to a site called Freerice.com, where you get to play a vocabulary game that donates 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program for every time you can guess the correct definition of a word (you get a little help since it’s multiple choice).

I’ve been doing it this afternoon and it’s a heck of a lot of fun for the brain - I got up to level 42 but didn’t get “stypic” (rats) and dropped back to 41.  Can you beat level 42? How about you Ben? Maria? Mary? Rosa? Steve? Liv?  Terry? Gal? Jodee? Karen?  Terri?  How about all my other blogging friends? I double-dog dare ya!  (and it’s for a great cause too).

Thanks Dr. Kirk for this tag!