The Lighter Side

I was doing my usual full-scale digestion of the Sunday NY Times the other day when I came across a book review by Harry Hurt, entitled “A Generation With More Than Hand-Eye Coordination“.

Hurt was writing about a book by Don Tapscott called “Growing Up Digital” - in it, the author takes a deeper look at the generation now commonly called the “Millennials” - those born between 1977 and 1997.

His thesis, based on interviews with nearly 10,000 people, is that as the first generation that came of age in the Internet era, the Millennials are “smarter, quicker, and more tolerant of diversity than their predecessors”

Why? Because of the “collaborative” nature of the Internet. Us older folks, baby boomers weaned on the one-way medium of television and radio, were apparently dumber, slower, and less tolerant at a similar age.

Or were we?

On behalf of Baby Boomers throughout the world, I will take on the list of 8 “norms” that supposedly give this generation their superiority, according to Tapscott. Here we go…….

1. Tapscott: Millennials (”M’s”) prize freedom Starbucker: Baby Boomers (”BBs”) also prized their freedom, but in our case it revolved around enjoying getting Dad’s car on a Saturday night, instead of a Blackberry with texting ability.
2. Tapscott: M’s want to customize things. Starbucker: BB’s were just as good at this - it was just more “analog”. For example, I could still make “mix tapes” in the 70’s with my cassette deck- they just took longer to put together. Much longer.
3. Tapscott: M’s enjoy collaboration. Starbucker: I more than enjoyed collaboration. I LOVED collaboration. I collaborated frequently with my friends in the 70s and 80s to organize very good parties- with those mix tapes mentioned above (and my Dad’s car).
4. Tapscott: M’s scrutinize everything. Starbucker: BB’s didn’t have the Internet to research everything under the sun in seconds flat, but that didn’t stop us from hitting the library or the good ol’ encyclopedia if we really needed the straight scoop. Or better yet, actually having a face to face conversation with someone to pick up those nuances missed on those text messages.
5. Tapscott: M’s insist on integrity in institutions and corporations. Starbucker: Hey, we always wanted our school administrators and early bosses to level with us when it came to how much beer we could have at our parties and happy hours. In fact, we demanded this transparency constantly - especially on Fridays.
6. Tapscott: M’s want to have fun even at school or work. Starbucker: And we didn’t? I challenge M’s to go back in time to my younger days and see if they could “hang” with us at night and still get their work done during the day. At least most of it.
7. Tapscott: M’s believe that speed in technology and all else is normal. Starbucker: Anybody who’s ever driven with me knows that I always “feel the need for speed” (thank you, Tom Cruise) - that was certainly the case back in those earlier days.
8. Tapscott: M’s regard constant innovation as a fact of life. Starbucker: BB’s have known and practiced this always - how else did we manage to figure out how to sell pet rocks, or black light posters, or bell bottom pants, or AMC Pacers, or…… I rest my case!

There you have it, the generational smackdown. I think us BB’s hold up pretty darn well.

So let’s just call it a tie, shall we?

Recently I received a comment from Alison Dennehy on a post I had written about my Blackberry Addiction. She was doing research on “the re-location of the temporal, spatial and psychological boundaries between work and non-work caused by smart mobile technologies such as the Blackberry“.

In other words, how do these devices affect our life/work balance?

Intrigued, I volunteered to further her research by blogging once again about this topic, and asking my readers to add their comments about it on the post (please do, by the way).

As fate would have it, on the day I was going to write this post I read an article by Ben Stein in the NY Times entitled “Connected, Yes, But Hermetically Sealed”. It was Ben’s take on the breakdown of those boundaries Alison spoke of.

It was a lament about how our devices have become “modern-day balls and chains with which we shackle ourselves“. He sums up his feelings this way:

“The cellphone and the PDA have basically replaced thought”

Whoa.

Danger Will Robinson! When I read that I immediately heard that warning in my head (courtesy of the robot B-9 in the classic TV series “Lost in Space” - yes, I am a child of the 60s).

There is indeed a clear danger here, and lines that can be crossed, whereby the new gadgets of our digital world could fundamentally change how humanity evolves. For the worse.

Is that hyperbole? I think not.

While I’m certainly not yet at the point where I would make the came kind of declaration as Ben Stein and say my Blackberry does all of my thinking (although some folks may say that about me), I can envision a world in the not-too-distant future where:

• Our legs are not as strong because we made too much of a habit of e-mailing or texting someone 10 feet away.

• Our eyes aren’t as powerful looking beyond two feet in front of us since we spent too much time looking at our computers and devices.

• Our ears are only conditioned to optimally hear sounds that are either delivered right into the sides of our ears, or through earplugs.

• Our sense of smell is greatly diminished because we increasingly didn’t take the time to literally smell the roses, and because our computers and devices don’t have a smell (now that would be an interesting product, wouldn’t it – “Computer Scent”).

• Our taste buds grow smaller and less sensitive because of our habits of working all of our devices and eating at the same time, thus diverting our attention from savoring our meals.

• Our language skills decline because the art of human conversation nearly disappears, in favor of shorthand IMing (or truncating to 140 characters) virtually all communications.

• Our brain capacity diminishes because our digital technology does too much of our thinking for us (think math, think spelling, etc).

Yep, this all could happen to humans if we overdo this stuff. The human species has constantly adapted and changed depending on its surrounding environment and needs for survival. Our current edition is no different.

We must be careful. We must heed the danger. We need to draw our lines in the sand as to what’s a proper balance of “plugged” and “unplugged”.

So, balance your e-mailing with lots of personal conversation. Take a break from Twittering, walk outside and take in the wonderful details of a forest, or a mountainside, or a lake shore. Pull out the iPod earplugs and listen to the sweet sounds of birds. Step into a garden, or into a bakery at 7AM, and inhale - deeply. Go to a restaurant and turn off all of your devices, order your favorite meal, and savor every bite. Handwrite a two-page letter to a friend you haven’t contacted in years. Do a little math in your head every now and then.

Do it all for the sake of humanity. Really.

Help me get those robot images out of my head.

(And oh yes, do it for our own sanity and happiness as well)

Quick, what’s 36 times 82? No cheating. In your head. Without rubbing your head.

And don’t forget to add your thoughts for Allison, on your take regarding this life/work balance, in the comments or in a separate post. Thanks!

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A quick postscript for my friend Joanna Young, who recently restarted her great website Confident Writing. Please go over there and welcome her back – and soak in her great writing, excellent advice and witty warmth. Well done Joanna!

There’s a certain word I never use in my posts - well, almost never - I used it once in the past two years. It’s one of those descriptors that just doesn’t work or me.

I’m reprising my original (September of 2006) rant about this word in the hope that it can eventually become extinct. After reading it I’m sure you’ll agree and stop using it too.

Have a ni….. I mean wonderful, weekend!

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I remember how being called nice didn’t exactly work to a person’s advantage, especially in the dating arena. “Oh, you are such a nice guy” was NOT what you wanted to hear from the object of your affection. Then there is the famous expression, “nice guys always finish last” - heck, there was even a movie made with that title, that supposedly “proves” that this is true. Just do a Google news search and it’s still being used as a way to generally describe “wimpy” behavior (especially in sports), like this one I found from the Denver Post.

I’ve also been told, on occasion, that I was “too nice” to people. Too nice?

So what’s with “Nice” anyway? How did it become so pejorative? The problem is, it has too many meanings. Take a look at the list (thanks to Dictionary.com):

1. pleasing; agreeable; delightful: a nice visit.
2. amiably pleasant; kind: They are always nice to strangers.
3. characterized by, showing, or requiring great accuracy, precision, skill, tact, care, or delicacy: nice workmanship; a nice shot; a nice handling of a crisis.
4. showing or indicating very small differences; minutely accurate, as instruments: a job that requires nice measurements.
5. minute, fine, or subtle: a nice distinction.
6. having or showing delicate, accurate perception: a nice sense of color.
7. refined in manners, language, etc.: Nice people wouldn’t do such things.
8. virtuous; respectable; decorous: a nice girl.
9. suitable or proper: That was not a nice remark.
10. carefully neat in dress, habits, etc.
11. (esp. of food) dainty or delicate.
12. having fastidious, finicky, or fussy tastes: They’re much too nice in their dining habits to enjoy an outdoor barbecue.
13. Obsolete. coy, shy, or reluctant.
14. Obsolete. unimportant; trivial.
15. Obsolete. wanton. —Idioms
16. make nice, to behave in a friendly, ingratiating, or conciliatory manner.
17.nice and, sufficiently: It’s nice and warm in here.
[Origin: 1250–1300; ME: foolish, stupid <>science) + -us adj. suffix]

In looking at this, I realize that this “problem” has existed with this word for over 700 years (check out the origin), but what I want to know is, how did it evolve from “stupid” to “kind”? I don’t think the dictionary folks have a clue. In fact, check this statement out from the definition posting:

“The semantic history of nice is quite varied, as the etymology and the obsolete senses attest, and any attempt to insist on only one of its present senses as correct will not be in keeping with the facts of actual usage. If any criticism is valid, it might be that the word is used too often and has become a cliché lacking the qualities of precision and intensity that are embodied in many of its synonyms.”

Yep, I think so.

What to do then? I say, banish the word entirely. Then, “you are such a nice guy” becomes the more direct “you are such an undesirable person for a dating partner“, and “nice guys finish last” becomes “men who lack appropriate skills to compete but aren’t all that concerned about it are probably going to end up last“.

And what about those folks calling me “too nice“? I suppose I could reply, “please clarify, because you are using a cliche lacking the qualities of precision and intensity that are embodied in many of its synonyms“, but I think I prefer the pithier “So What?”. As Popeye says, “I am what I am” (even if it’s a hopelessly imprecise and obsolete adjective).

What do you think - shall we lobby to get “nice” banished? In any case, it’s out of the Half-Full dictionary!

For those of you that have been readers of RFGHF since its inception (and I thank you very much for that, by the way), you probably know my “alter-egos”, Harry Halffull and Mopey Murphy.

These fine friends pop up every once in a while to “moderate” (if you can call it that) my subconscious thoughts.

Sometimes it’s a high-level battle between Murphy’s Law and Half-Fullism.

Another time it’s a struggle to get past the post-holiday blahs.

And, of course, they always like to advise me during tax time, or when I’m at airports. Yep, they really like airports.

Lately, however, they’ve engaged in the biggest, most important moderation of them all - the allocation of my attention.

Fact is, what is happening to me is what an article in the NY Times called yesterday a “War Against Distraction“. Apparently I’m not the only one fighting this war, since the person who wrote the article (Maggie Jackson) has written a book, entitled “Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age“.

Pretty serious stuff, it appears. I didn’t like the Dark Ages when I read about it in history class, so I doubt I’ll like it much now. So a lot is at stake here, and Mopey and Harry are on the front lines of this war, sorting through all the demands and pings that come my way. The trouble is, Mopey would just LOVE to plunge me into the distraction abyss, while Harry would just as soon create for me what Ms. Jackson calls a “renaissance of attention“.

Here’s just a small sample of the dialog from “the front”:

Harry: Hey Starbucker, you have a meeting at 11AM, and it’s 10:30AM now - don’t you think you ought to be preparing for it? After all, all your bosses will be there and they like to ask pretty detailed questions.

Mopey: Tsk tsk tsk Harry, this guy doesn’t need to prepare for a meeting! Not when there are 50 Twitter messages up on his screen that he can answer! Or 100 e-mails from the day before that need to be read. Or 3 phone messages that haven’t been returned from yesterday. Oh, and he hasn’t caught up on the news yet. Don’t ya love the Internet!

Harry: C’mon Mopey, none of that stuff is urgent, is it? Twitter messages? Those streams of consciousness can certainly wait. E-mail? Maybe a couple need to be attended to, but no more. And the news can wait - isn’t that what a lunch hour is for?

Mopey: You just don’t have any faith in this kid and his multitasking abilities, do you? Oh, and he needs another cup of coffee, by the way.

Harry: Now is not really a good time to be going to the break room for coffee - there’s that meeting, remember?

Mopey: What meeting? The break room has such great possibilities for distraction - coffee, plus a water cooler discussion about something like golf. How about that Tiger Woods!

Harry: Gosh, that Tiger was something…. HEY! You are pretty darn clever Mopey - ya almost got me. He’s not leaving this office.

Mopey: You’re right - there are those Twitterers he needs to attend to. Lots of important stuff there. And he’s addicted to it, to boot. He’s just going to have to wing it at the meeting, my man.

Harry: Oy. Maybe I should just unplug the computer, and hide his Blackberry.

Mopey: The Blackberry? Gosh no - that’s the most important interrupter of them all! He even takes it into meetings with him.

Harry: Wait - I hear the phone ringing; can’t his assistant handle that?

Mopey: Are you kidding? It could be something really unimportant, like a friend calling about setting up a dinner or something. He’s GOT to pick that up!

Harry: Starbucker, please - pay attention to what I’m trying to tell you man! Mopey is going to push you into the Dark Ages, just like Maggie Jackson said. Look at the quote she wrote about, by William James - “Wisdom is the art of knowing what to overlook”. You want to be wise, right? And are unwise people successful? I think not.

Mopey: Hey, that’s not fair, appealing to those higher ambitions and painting the big picture. We’re lost in the details, remember?

Harry: Do you think I was born yesterday? I know this guy. Sometimes I just need to get him back up to 50,000 feet.

Mopey: But he still needs coffee…….

Harry: OK, just coffee - but right there and back. OK?

Mopey: And can he answer a Twitter or two?

Harry: Two, no more.

Mopey: You’re a hard bargainer, Harry, but next time, he’s GOIN’ DOWN!!

Harry: Not on my watch! Starbucker, you have our orders now. Let’s make it happen.

So there you have it - the war rages on. Battle after battle, morning after morning.

At least I’ve trained them to always put the coffee on the negotiating table.

Last week I opened up an internal debate I was having about my blog to my readers, and the overwhelming result was this:Keep doing what you’re doing

Now there’s certainly more to it than that (in fact, I will be eternally grateful for the thoughtfulness of the responses), but that was the core of what everyone was saying. What was the specific advice? Here’s a sample:

• Don’t be someone you are not
• There is no need to draw lines when it all comes from the same place
• How about an “about the blog” page
• Be selfish, be passionate
• Build the relationships - this is about people
• Keep it conversational
• Be joyful, because you are doing something you love to do

That last one was particularly helpful, in that it just wasn’t going to be “me” to narrowcast myself into a place where I couldn’t express myself joyfully whenever the mood struck (I would imagine a strictly business blogger, for example, would have a difficult time squeezing that in).

I find joy in many things, and I’ll find it in the most unlikely places, which leads me to the final lesson I got this week about blogging.

I was at a business lunch with several people the other day. We were all dressed in our best business attire, and dutifully chatted initially about “the business stuff” we needed to address (especially to get the tax write off!). But since I knew these people very well and we had built an excellent relationship (there’s that word again!), we quickly veered off into different territory.

A territory those of you who follow me on Twitter know very well - music trivia.

I have much very useless knowledge in this area, so I leaped at the opportunity to dump a lot of it out of me. The topic turned to what we considered to be “joyfully banal” songs. One of my lunchmates suddenly rose from their chair (I kid you not) and started singing the Brady Bunch song “Keep on Movin”, also throwing in the signature dance moves.

We were in convulsions - laughing so hard we were almost crying. It was a childhood memory and joy inducer all wrapped into a big ball.

And then it hit me - no matter what I end up writing about, my blog HAS to continue to be a “forum for joy” - an upbeat expression of “Me” that can spread that joy as wide and as far as possible.

I want to be “joyfully banal” if I want to, even right after I hit Starbucks in the solar plexus, or wax poetic about John Adams and the Declaration of Independence.

Yep, I gotta be me, and oh yes, I got to Keep on Movin’! As the Brady Bunch says,

We’re gonna keep on, keep on, keep on, keep on dancing all through the night.
We’re gonna keep on, keep on, keep on doing it right
We’re gonna keep on, keep on , keep on movin
Gonna keep on, keep on, keep on grooving
Keep on singing and dancing all through the night

Thanks again to everyone who pitched in their two cents, and hope you also enjoy as much as I did the Brady Bunch singing and dancing their little hearts out for all of us (and our blogs).

Here’s the link to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUyTZlJnRns&feature=related