TerryStarbucker.com turns 4 on 12/25; Today, in marking this anniversary, I tell the story of how my philosophy of "Half-Fullism" was born.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go”.

Boom.   Just like that, the train derailed.  All that promise, all that possibility, was now gone.

After  12 years of a relatively charmed professional  life, reality set in with a vengeance.

How I dealt with this reality formed the basis of an entirely new approach to my career, and to my life.

I now call it Half-Fullism, or “looking at reality in a favorable way”, but back then, it was more like survival.

My life’s journey to that fateful moment had been a relatively effortless one, at least professionally.   My education afforded me a seamless transition into a public accounting job, a position that played to one of my strengths as a number cruncher.  It was a compromise decision at the time, because my desire to be a wage earner exceeded my dreams of any higher education and a more prestigious profession.

I quickly rose through the ranks in my accounting role, and in 5 years I was in a prime position to make it to partner and “lock in” the rest of my career.  But fate intervened in a very strange way.  Out of the blue, I got a call from an executive recruiter who was looking for a particular kind of accountant to “run” a service company with over 425,000 customers.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing – didn’t he know I was only 27 years old? Apparently he didn’t care and the next thing you know I was indeed running the operations of that company.   The owner had a thing about hiring young financial minds and throwing them headfirst into the pool, and I was his next project.

Problem was, while the experience was invaluable and the learning priceless, from the standpoint of my psyche it was too much, too soon.   When the company was sold 3 years later I was openly wondering what I would do for an encore.  Would anyone else take the same chance on me, or would I fall out of this dream-come-true, back at a cubicle cranking out spreadsheets?

Nothing had gone wrong so far – and I was very afraid that something now would.  But once again, I was pulled away from it by another left-field offer, by the same owner, but for a different business.  Way different – a professional sports team.   Because like most other red-blooded men I am quite fond of sports, the thought of being associated with it at that level was intoxicating.

I took that offer.  Again I was off the angst hook – and another charmed step was taken.  This step turned out to be a huge mistake.  The first three months were livin’ the dream, sitting in owner’s boxes and meeting celebrities, but things quickly turned sour, and for the next 3 years, I was miserable.   The project I was working on was going nowhere, and the boss was a holy terror. Worse still, I had to literally change my personality at the workplace to “protect” myself, becoming a subdued, passive version of a “yes man”.

But I didn’t quit. I wasn’t fully absorbing the realities of my situation.  I was too focused on the paycheck – for my age it was pretty substantial.  The fear came back of the dream going bust.

And then, finally and mercifully, I heard those words.

I was fired.

My worst fears were now realized.  My glass, it seemed, was now empty.

Boy was I wrong.

Somewhere, in that initial bout of despair, came a revelation – yes, this really stinks, BUT………

I’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to become “Terry, Inc.” and learn to sell myself.

And I remembered something – something I wrote when I was in the absolute depths of my loathing, about 6 months before I was let go.  It was a personal manifesto, laying down the type of career I really wanted to have.  I wanted to be a leader, one that shows his true personality.

Armed with these intentions, I forged ahead into the unknown with a renewed sense of optimism, but not the unbridled sort.   It was tempered by several realities – the foremost of which was the notion that I was most likely going to have to step down the ladder a few notches before I could climb back up.

I also didn’t expect that every letter would result in an interview or an offer, or probably even every 10^th letter, but knew that the more I sent the better my chances.

I was acting as a “realistic optimist” – those instincts had always been there, but they had never had a real chance of being acted upon fully until that time.

Three months into my search (and about 500 letters and phone calls) I was fortunate enough to find a new position – several notches down, as I had predicted, but with the potential to rise back up.    I started this new phase of my career with my eyes now wide open, knowing that the charmed phase was over, and there was hard work ahead.

It was work, however, that came with a vow. I was always going to be true to myself, and my vision of what I wanted to become – otherwise it wouldn’t be worth doing.

As I restarted my career this new approach paid great dividends – for it also carried along with it my new attitude.  I was now much better able to think about favorable outcomes to the situations I was facing – and reject them if need be.  Several years later, this turnaround was confirmed by one of my teammates via an exclamation after a particularly intense budgeting session – “you’re glass is always half full!”

At that moment, my new attitude got a new name.  And when it was time to start this blog, there was no question as to what it should be named, and what the overall tone of it should be.   Because I felt it was well worth sharing my experiences from that point of view.

Half-Fullism ended up working for me in ways I never thought possible.  And today, I face today and the tomorrows to come realizing that while every day isn’t going to be sunshine, there isn’t a magic wand that can solve everything, and not-so-good, unexplainable things can indeed happen to good people, there is still a lot of joy and fulfillment out there to be found and experienced.

And I’m going to do my best to find it.  Join me, will you?

(Postscript: I also wish to extend my grateful thanks to all of you that have supported me and this blog for these past 4 years. I couldn’t have lasted this long, or loved it this much, without you!)

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As the title of this blog attests, I am a daily practitioner of  “Half-Fullism” – dealing with the literal world in a favorable way.  It’s a philosophy that keeps me properly grounded, generally happy, and most importantly – sane.

There are 5 keys to keeping that glass half-full.   I had originally published these keys in November of 2006, but I thought they were well worth repeating for my newer readers:

“Get off of the ground, but stay out of the clouds”

Be able to take a step back occasionally and get a good perspective on what is happening in your life so those “little things” are marginalized, but be careful you don’t get so far up and away from that you lose track of any lessons to be learned or changes in direction that should occur.

“Open mind, open skies”

An open mind is critical to keeping a positive perspective; it creates a feeling of freedom that keeps you soaring in the open skies instead of being stuck in the fishbowl.

“No brain pain, no net gain”

You must keep constantly learning to keep the glass half-full; see my post on Joyful Jubilant Learning about how it works for me.

“Stay away from absolutes, absolutely“

One of my earliest mentors forbid the word “can’t” from ever being uttered in his presence, and the meaning of that prohibition had a profound effect on me, in that I realized that absolutes tend to stifle optimism. They leave no room for possibilities. A half-fuller needs possibilities like a fish needs water.

“Just say no to naysayers”

Surround yourself with other Half-Fullers, and you’ll surely pick up the vibe.  I was pretty solidly in the Half-Full camp before I started blogging, but my experience with like-minded individuals in the blogosphere has only made me more determined to stay this way. Beware of the opposite effect of hanging with naysayers – there’s an “Under Toad” there that can pull you straight under.

And one more thing………

There’s also an overriding element to practicing Half-Fullism – intent. That’s right, you have to WANT to take this kind of  philosophical viewpoint.

To this day the best thing I’ve ever read about intent was written my my friend Christine Kane,  in a post entitled “10 Ways to Set a Powerful Intent” .

Read that post, then read this one again, and then raise that half-full glass!

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I started this blog on December 25, 2005 as a lark; a friend of mine had showed me his Blogger account a few days before and I thought “cool, a place to put your thoughts“.

So on that particular Christmas day I decided to establish a place to put my thoughts.  But it needed a name- something that would give a very strong hint about where I’m coming from.

Immediately I thought of a discussion I once had with a friend who “lamented”  to me after a semi-argument about something that “you always look at the glass half-full, don’t you?”

Ah yes, that’s me.

And there it was,  the name of the blog – “Ramblings From a Glass Half-Full”

Here’s what I wrote on my first post about what I now call “Half-Fullism“:

“Call me an eternal optimist, call me a fool, but I find it’s the best way to live one’s life with the least amount of angst. I hate angst.”

I later more pithily defined the term this way (and it’s right up there on my home page above my picture) -

“Dealing with the literal world in a favorable way”

That’s been the underlying theme of this blog from the get go, and over the past 43 months I’ve shared many observations and musings about life, love and the pursuit of happiness (otherwise known in the blogging world as “personal development”).

Call me a “Lifehacker” – trying my best,  on the fly,  to discover and document an instruction manual for living.

And with a few hundred posts behind me,  I can assemble what I believe to be the 10 most important lessons, and ease the challenge of sorting through them yourself to figure out where this Starbucker guy is coming from.

Here they are – 10 favorite life lessons from a glass half-full, in reverse chronological order – click on the links to get the full lesson:

1. First, Find Out What You “Signed up to do” – Take the time to reflect on what you believe are your 10 best qualities, and write them down. Stir vigorously, and then apply them, every day.
2. Life Requires Trust – because as  Henri Nouwen once said, “Nothing alive is the same from moment to moment. To live is to face the unknown over and over again.“  This, I learned from a chance reading of an obituary of a 78 year-old who loved his simple life.
3. Watch Out for the Under Toad! – Don’t let the accumulated weight of thoughts of the past and future “pull you under” the present, to where what’s going on at that very moment is of the least importance. (Thanks to John Irving and Garp for the inspiration here).
4. Never Stop Dreaming -  Elvis reminded me of this through a powerful song, “If I Can Dream” from his ‘68 comeback special.
   “But as long as a man has the strength to dream, he can redeem his soul and fly…“ (lyric  by W. Earl Brown)
5. “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things” – This line from the movie  “The Shawshank Redemption“  has stood the test of time for me for the message it tells us all about the power of the human spirit. Because no good thing ever dies.
6. Always Stop and Learn from Mistakes - I’ve developed a 4-step approach to do this – Acknowledgment, Correction, Learning, & Rear-View Mirror -   because our ability to take positive things out of the errors we make is critical to making our life’s journey a fulfilling one
7. The Last Hurdle to Happiness is YOU – Sometimes the hardest thing is to simply accept the fact that we can be, or are, happy.  We all too often back away when we near that threshold, as if we don’t deserve it.  Yes, we do.  Go for it.
8. We CAN Make a Difference in This World – I know, heard that before, right? But I have proof, with these three words (thanks Chris Garrett) – Chicken Tikka Masala.   Go here and see what I mean.
9. Make Fear Your Friend – Think about the times you got over the hump and conquered fear.  Remember how good that felt?  Yes, there is a “Joy of Fear” -ask a few mountain climbers. I’m not advising you to climb K-2, but perhaps you could take the advice of the retailer Lululemon – “Do one thing a day that scares you“.
   
10. Never Grow Up, Never Give Up, and Earn Your Fulfillment - This is my triptych on the “Secret of Life” – three posts, linked together, as a life mantra.  It really summarizes the way I wish to live each day of my life.   Keep the child-like awe.  Be persistent in achieving my goals.  And find fulfillment in earning them.

One last thing – I offer my grateful thanks to all who have led me to these lessons. This blogging journey has been one of the biggest surprises of my life – who knew a “lark” could end up like this?

Yours in Half-Fullism,

Terry

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My good friend Joanna Young issued a challenge back on December 5:

“Select the one post from your archive that you think is your best piece of 2008″

Now that’s a challenge – evaluating your own body of work over the course of 12 months.

I once heard Billy Joel refer to his songs as children, and that’s an apt description of blog posts too. You tend to love them all (well, almost all of them), and so it’s hard to put one over the other.

In this case, however, it really wasn’t a hard decision, because of the issuer of the challenge.

Back in May I asked my readers for suggestions as to how to improve my blog. Joanna gave me this excellent piece of advice:

“You might find it useful to try writing an ‘about the blog’ page to add to the ‘about you’ one: what would you tell a new visitor in a short page (no scrolling) about what they can hope to find at your blog. Might be a valuable exercise, for new readers and subscribers, but also for you.”

I did end up writing an “About the Blog” page, and Joanna was right, it was a valuable exercise for me. Because of the introspection necessary to write such a page, I was able to “nail” what I believe is the foundation of my philosophy of “Half-Fullism”:

Getting over the fear of being happy, balanced by the realism of the rhythms of life.

I also dug deeper into my personal reasons for blogging, and all boiled down to this:

I want to give you the best of what’s inside my head and my heart, knowing that the greatest rewards are in what you give me back.

This wasn’t my most popular post from 2008, but it sure was the most important one, from the standpoint of defining my blogging “raison d’être“.

So now, in compliance with Joanna’s instructions, I finish this post with this “official” summation:

This post is simply the best because it crystallized my thinking as to why I was blogging in the first place – to reach out and cultivate positive and mutually rewarding relationships through my philosophy of “Half-Fullism”.

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Barry Moltz has failed. More than once.

And he’s not afraid to tell you.

Of course, he’s had his share of success as well, but what makes his new book “Bounce” such an interesting and thought provoking read is his refreshing honesty.

What else would you expect from someone who’s already written a book called “You Need to be a Little Crazy”?

This honesty proves to be an effective way to present his keys to confidence building, as we “bounce” our way from one outcome, situation or event to another.

What are these keys? Barry organizes his book into 10 of them (called “building bands”), but there were 4 in particular that interested me the most:

• Developing Humility
• Channeling fear and making choices
• Less focus on events and more on process
• Using passion to keep up the good fight

As someone who is a great proponent of the role of humility in “Level 5” leadership as defined in the book “Good to Great”, Barry’s view was spot on. He writes:

“Humility reminds us to respect the power of our competitors, our customers, and how vastly complicated the business world can be. It’s like sailing on the ocean, riding the waves high, but respecting the power of nature, knowing that a storm can brew up at any moment with the power to set you off course or, worse, sink your boat”

Humility is about taking responsibility for our actions, but also realizing that our actions are taken within the context of forces that very often can be beyond our control. (the recent subprime mortgage mess is a very good example). Knowing this helps us bounce ahead when things don’t go our way as well as when they do.

As for fear, Barry believes (as I do) that it can actually be a good thing, because it’s an energy that can be channeled. The great term he uses is “teaching the butterflies to fly in formation”. Since fear can never be eliminated, why not use it? More than anything, we cannot let fear lead to paralysis. Most of the time, a deep breath and a step back will reveal that we always have choices, the “antidote to fear”, and those choices allow us to bounce once again.

Focusing on the processes that lead us to good or bad outcomes is another way to build resiliency and confidence, says Moltz. He believes we spend much too much time categorizing these events, and not enough time analyzing about how we got to those points. When I read this all I could keep thinking about was “It’s the journey, not the destination”. Because one man’s failure is another man’s success, understanding and learning from all of our past experiences is yet another way to bounce forward.

Lastly, there’s passion – the rocket fuel for fighting failure, and building lasting confidence. Barry calls it “the only thing that will bounce the businessperson off the bottom”. But we must understand where our passions come from, and if what we’re doing every day is in line with that passion. Granted this is something we’ve heard many times before, but in my view I can never hear it (or read it) enough, especially in this context.

In the end, to Barry it’s all about making better decisions – and the way to do that is to keep “bouncing”. We have to get into and stay in the game – we need to make choices, over and over again, with humility and passion, understanding and channeling our fears, and focusing on the journey instead of the destination.

I’ve always called this “a bias toward action”.

There’s certainly much more to this book than what I’ve presented here. Barry draws frequently from his own life experiences and learning, and those are the most effective passages. It is certainly not a “know it all” book, written more out of hubris than a desire to share hard earned knowledge. It’s not a bunch of happy faces wrapped around an “easy 5 step plan”.

Nope, it’s a very “grounded” approach – here’s someone who’s not afraid to admit he’s failed (and tell you why), or tell you what you might not want to hear in a self-help book. Or tell you that once you read the book, you should throw it away (yes, he really says this, but you’ll need to read the book to find out why).

In other words, it’s a book with a foundation in honest reality but yet ultimately optimistic about the human condition, and our ability to bounce.

Sounds a little like Half-Fullism Barry – welcome to the club!

Buy “Bounce” in my Amazon Store.

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Whenever I think my life is getting a tad too hectic, I always try to step back for some badly needed perspective. Sometimes it takes a random watching of a favorite movie to get the job done, like this example that I wrote about back in 2006:

A couple of evenings ago my wife and I were hoping to catch a few minutes of what we call “mindless TV” to wind down our day, and we happened on a cable showing of “Field of Dreams” that had just started. “Field of Dreams” to me is the ultimate “guy” movie, having seen it at the theater back in 1989 and crying my eyes out at the end when the main character Ray Kinsella, played by Kevin Costner (the same Kevin Costner who, as Crash Davis, inspired a couple of posts last week), plays catch with his father’s ghost.

Apparently I’m not alone as a male who was affected by this movie. In Wikipedia, a
psychologist named David Powell is quoted as saying “There’s a 95% tear factor when a group of men watch Field of Dreams… Sports is the archetypal bond between men and their fathers, and for most men the most primitive, important relationship in their lives is with their dads.”

Pretty interesting stuff – but as we watched the movie this time, I picked up on two other things: Having the courage to go after dreams, and the presense of mind to be aware of and appreciate those significant events in our lives as they are happening (aka “being in the moment”).

Think of those voices that Ray heard:

• “if you build it, he will come”
• “go the distance”
• “ease his pain”

He was being compelled to do something totally “out of the box”, and he trusted that instinct despite the absurdity of the task, even though a little doubt crept in when he kept asking his wife if he was crazy. The support of his wife was critical too – having faith put in you by someone so close adds vital fuel to the fire of dream fulfillment.

Then there was the subplot of “Moonlight” Graham (played by the late Burt Lancaster). He never got to bat in the major leagues, although he did get on the field for one inning. Looking back on it 50 years later he said “You know we just don’t recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they’re happening. Back then I thought, well, there’ll be other days. I didn’t realize that that was the only day.” That one hit me harder at age 46 than it did at 29.

So the questions that came out of this viewing for me were: Am I “listening” to the voices within me and finding the courage to really go after my dreams, and am I fully aware of all the things happening in my life that are special or significant, and appreciating them with the perspective that there might not be “other days”?

A lot to chew on, I know – and by the way, I did tear up again at the end (95%, right?). How about everyone else – did this movie “get” you too? And if so, in the same ways, or differently?

Thank goodness for those reminders of the need to listen to the most important person on earth -

Ourselves.

Go the distance!

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My usual routine on Saturday morning is to brew up a hot pot of coffee and sit down with the New York Times, and last Saturday was no exception.

I expected to find many articles dealing with the latest financial crisis, government bailout, and last Thursday’s vice-presidential debate, and I was not disappointed.

But I also found something that managed to put all of that news on my mental and emotional back burner, and refocused my attention in a more philosophical and spiritual way – back to the “secrets of life”.

I had written about what I thought was the core secret a few weeks ago – the concept of never growing up, and thus keeping our child-like wonder and amazement at the world around us.

While on one level I was satisfied that I had “nailed it”, something had been nagging at me of late – there was something missing in my formula to happiness and fulfillment, and what’s more, it was most “unchild-like”.

That something appeared on the pages of the New York Times. After reading this article, I am now prepared to amend my previous declaration.

The Real Secret of Life for me now reads:

“Never Grow Up, and Never Give Up”

Who was the inspiration for this amendment? A woman named Heba Said Ahmed.

Ms. Ahmed was the subject of the paper’s weekly feature called “The Saturday Profile”.

She recently won a Gold Medal for Egypt in power lifting during the recent Paralympic Games in Beijing, after being stricken with Polio as a child that left her without the use of her legs.

What struck me about her was her drive and determination to succeed, despite the many obstacles she faces in her home country. As the article explained:

“It is hard to overstate how different Ms. Ahmed is from many of those around her. It is all about attitude. Egypt is filled with people who face adversity, most often a function of poverty and systemic indifference. It is a class-based society with an unwritten contract that many people believe condemns them to live as they were born, poor and marginalized. There is a pervasive feeling of impotence, a collective belief that fighting back is futile.

But Ms. Ahmed never refers to fate; she talks about choices. She doesn’t talk about obstacles; she talks about challenges”

Living is challenging enough for those of us enough fortunate enough to live in societies that tend to be more open and optimistic about our individual chances for success, but for Ms. Ahmed, the bar is much, much higher.

But she’s clearing it, with room to spare. Because she refuses to give up, and give into all the preconceptions. “There’s no such thing as a handicap”, she says. “A handicap is in your thinking, or in your heart”.

In Egypt, “people tend to look away from disabled people, as if they are invisible. There is no such thing as access for them. The curbs are a foot high”. For Ms. Ahmed, these barriers are simply looked at as ways to strengthen her character for future challenges– because there is no way to go but forward.

Now that she’s won accolades abroad for her athletic feats, she’s thinking even bigger – marriage and family.

“I want to raise children and raise them well. I want them to be champions, too.”

After reading this inspiring (and life theory amending) article, I would not bet against her.

Thanks Ms. Ahmed, for reminding me that a child-like mindset must be matched with a grown-up will and inner strength.

“Never grow up, and Never give up”.

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Occasionally I need to refer back to famous optimists at those times where my glass gets a bit below half-full. Today was one of those days (triggered by the recent financial market crisis and the resulting 780 point drop in the Dow).

I know the roller coaster will bottom out and we’ll be heading back up (that’s what history tells us), but in the meantime it was good to re-review my 10 favorite “Half-Full” quotes:

1. The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose – Kahlil Gibran
2. The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection - Thomas Paine
3. A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn’t see the clouds at all – he’s walking on them – Leonard Louis Levinson
4. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true - James Branch Cabell
5. Optimism is the foundation of courage – Nicholas Murray Butler
6. A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties – Harry Truman
7. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier - Colin Powell
8. For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use being anything else - Sir Winston Churchill
9. You see things; and you say “why?” But I dream of things that never were, and I say “Why not?” – George Bernard Shaw
10. The tenth is actually a story my old boss used to tell just about once a month; it’s about two boys who one beautiful day were exploring their neighbor’s farm and came upon an empty barn that smelled of manure – the first boy said, “we got to get out of here, this smells horrible“, but the second boy said “Oh boy, this is great – there must be horses around!“. Yes, true optimists can even find a silver lining from manure!

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While on a brief vacation last week I saw this quote (on the back of an iced tea bottle cap) by Thomas Edison:

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed up in overalls and looks like work”

This immediately made me think of a corollary line that I read read in a book over 20 years ago:

“Life is hard”

That book was “The Road Less Traveled” by M. Scott Peck. It was the first “self-help” book I ever read.

I was in my mid-20s, and wondering why things weren’t coming easier for me in my first years out of college. I was adjusting to the realities of the business world, which were oh so different than the relative utopia of college.

When I mentioned this struggle to one of my friends he suggested the Peck book, I bought it, and then started reading it that same evening.

Grasping what was behind the “life is hard” premise took me a few pages, but it didn’t take me long to realize that life happiness and fulfillment must we worked at. Very diligently. Because there are so many forces out there that pull you the other way (probably generated by people who aren’t working on it very hard).

That message has stayed with me for these many years later, so when I saw the Edison quote I could immediately make a connection – we must always be willing to put on those overalls, roll up the sleeves, and work at our success.

For as I also have learned, the act of staying off that path of least resistance makes the net result that much sweeter, because of the challenge and reward of the journey.

Look at Mr. Edison -he didn’t turn out half bad, did he? Despite a multitude of failures. He loved the road not traveled, even if it hit a dead end.

He achieved the ultimate magic of that approach – the “hard work” melted away, and it simply became a satisfying way of life.

As he ended up saying, “I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun”.

Bingo. I need to buy myself a pair of overalls.

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I’ve often thought (and wrote) that life is a constant process of discovery, so much so that many teachings, life lessons, and concepts can fade in and out with regularity.

Think about your own situation, and how perhaps you would walk away from a conversation, a lecture, a conference, or from reading a book, full of wonderful and actionable advice on how to live a happier and more enjoyable life – and then, as these experiences overlap and time passes, much of what you learned gets pushed to the back of your brain, in favor of the latest learnings.

I was fortunate enough to have a particularly good life learning circle back to me this past weekend, and this time I really intend to keep it close to me, and not let it slip away so easily.

Because, in essence, the learning was one of the best coping mechanisms I have ever come across. And it’s really easy to do, once you’ve gotten over the initial disbelief about it.

I attended a lecture of a Buddhist Monk named Bhante Wimala, who spoke about the concept of “mindfulness“. Not from the prospective of being mindful of what’s going on around you, but what is going on within you.

His suggested path to that particular kind of mindfulness is thorough meditation. I’m sure that word conjures up images of sitting cross-legged and trying to absolutely clear your head for lengthy periods of time, but it really is much simpler than that.

For in the key element of effective meditation lies the mechanism – that is, focus on your own breathing.

Sitting still, and listening to your breath – in, and out. In, and out. In doing this you quickly discover that it easily focuses your attention inward, to what’s going with your head, and your body.

By being so much more “in tune”, as it were, a person can then much more easily attend to what’s going on around them – or better put, better ascertain how what’s happening “out there” is affecting them, physically and emotionally.

Once you can “feel” the effect, now that you’ve put yourself right smack “in the moment”, all of a sudden that cherished “perspective” that we always strain to get in times of stress, or anxiety, or even loss, becomes a little easier to find.

Because as you breathe and focus within, it’s all about you, and not what’s happening. That’s more control.

I had learned this when I first started practicing yoga, well over a year ago – but as I noted before, it got a little lost lately in the parade of other newly discovered life lessons.

Now it’s back in my consciousness, and sure enough, I’ve reaped benefits already. Just this morning, I faced what I was perceiving as an unbelieveably busy and stressful day. When I arrived at the office I took a couple of minutes and started paying attention to my breathing, and sure enough, I immediately noticed the tension in my shoulders, and my neck.

Once “tuned in”, I immediately relaxed, and once that happened, the proper perspective flowed. I wasn’t going to let the day affect me negatively.

Then I went to work, still relaxed and ready to rock and roll.

I invite you to try this yourself – give it time, because it does take a little practice. But the dividends are many.

Just breathe. And cope.

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