Why We Need to Listen to Kenny Rogers: 7 Life Lessons from My Brief Poker Career

Saturday I read an article in the NY Times entitled “Winners Never Quit? Well, Yes, They Do“. It was a piece that tried to debunk the old adage “quitters never win, and winners never quit“.

Is “quitting”, when all is said and done, a sure sign of human weakness?

I would proffer this answer to that question – it depends.

It depends on what you are quitting on, and why.

It depends on what you do after you quit.

Actually, it’s a lot like playing poker, if you equate quitting to folding.

And that’s where listening to Kenny Rogers exhorting us to “know when to hold ‘em” and “know when to fold ‘em” comes in more handy than you realize.

I didn’t figure this out for myself until I tried to be a poker player. And failed.

Poker is one of those games where skill and cunning go hand in hand with pure luck – not unlike life, when you think about it.

You don’t know what kind of hand your going to be dealt, but once you get the cards, it’s still up to you to play them.

And this is where the lessons came in for me. Back in late 2004, I decided a goal of mine was going to be to play in the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. I started watching a lot of poker on TV, bought a few instructional books, and then started playing online for very small stakes.

I was about as obsessed with this goal as anyone could be for about a year – spending most of my free time trying to win $2 pots.

But eventually, I realized that this was not a goal I could obtain. I needed too much time and effort to get as good as I felt I needed to be. There were too many variables, too much psychology, and too much math. And I hated to lose money. Just hated it. Even if it was 50 cents. I ended up being a middle of the road player – I didn’t lose anything , but I didn’t make much either.

And then I discovered blogging.

It wasn’t a coincidence that my poker career ended about the same time I took up blogging – I had substituted one goal for another, almost without missing a beat.

Interestingly enough, the NY Times article I read about quitting talked about studies that showed that people “were happier if they found new goals to pursue once giving up on the old ones, in contrast with those who abandoned their previous aims without substituting anything new“.

Blogging saved me from a very unsuccessful poker career. I knew I had to “fold” on one thing, and start another. And I know I made the right decision, because this blogging thing has already exceeded my wildest dreams.

But my poker obsession, however brief, did teach me a few things that I won’t forget:

• More often than not, the best bets are the ones you don’t make, especially when you don’t have the cards
• Humans aren’t really that good at lying, as long as you pay attention to their “tells”
• When you have the cards, you must be fearless
• Even if the odds are in your favor, sometimes you still lose
• Short memories are good when success and failure happen in rapid succession – it’s better to play each hand like it’s your first
• A single-minded focus is critical – you can’t be thinking about dinner, or looking at your Blackberry, and expect to make good decisions at the table
• Trust your first instincts – they are usually right

Not a bad list of life as well as poker lessons, aren’t they?

I now only play poker, if at all, face to face with friends, for purely recreational purposes. No more dreams of Las Vegas millions.

Yep, we all really do need to listen to Kenny Rogers. Wise man, that Kenny.

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Tagged as: Kenny Rogers, NY Times, Poker