Back in 2006 I posted what I called my “Crash Davis Belief Statement”, inspired by the movie “Bull Durham“. Every time I watch that movie, and gosh, I’ve seen it 20 times now, I love this (edited for a PG audience) “harangue” delivered by Crash (Kevin Costner) to Annie (Susan Sarandon):
Well, I believe in the soul, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated @#&*. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”
Since in a life’s journey beliefs can change and evolve, in late 2007 I updated my belief statement, and here it is:
“I believe in the incredible potential of the human spirit, the vast underappreciated beauty of the earth, my wife’s smile and the love that radiates from it, long hugs and soft kisses, weddings and butterflies, honesty and courage, incurable optimism, the men and women in the arena, movies that make me laugh and cry at the human condition, the Green Bay Packers, downward dogs, a fine hot grande latte, the warmness of friendship, the spirit of SOBCon, vanilla ice cream, Elton & Bernie, the Grand Tetons, common courtesy, melodies I can’t get out of my head, amazing grace, Mom & Dad & my two sisters, servant leadership, government above hypocrisy, the daily grind, deep cleansing breaths, the power of dreams, the incredible wisdom of my grandmother, E=MC², and God and the Golden Rule.”
As I thought about this again recently, I realized that both Crash’s and my versions are way too long in this “Twitterfied” age. That is, if they are longer than 140 characters, forget it.
This is 2008 – our attention spans have shrunk. We can’t go rattling off line after line of our heartfelt bedrocks of our lives – we need to edit, baby! Get to the point. But at the same time, no “IMing” short cuts. That’s “Twitterfication”.
So, I’ve taken the liberty of editing both Crash and my statements to 140 characters.
Here they are, the 2008 versions:
Crash Davis (Twitter name @crashd)
I believe in soul,women,curves,fiber,booze, that Sontag is #*%, Oswald did it, Astroturf & the DH stinks, sweets, Xmas day, and 3 day kisses
Not bad, but it’s kinda not the same as the original. But it fits Twitter! Now comes the hard one……
Terry Starbucker (Twitter name @starbucker)
I believe in you,earth,my wife & family,love,honesty,can-doers,dreams,the Pack, yoga,lattes,friends,music,mountains, music & the Golden Rule
Yes, I’ve skipped a space (or two, or three) and used a “&”, but I think I stayed within the rules of Twitterfication.
I am now ready for the future – and so is Crash. We are Twitterfied!
“Paging Mr Costner……………” 
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Well done, Terry. This would be a good writing exercise. I need to do my own “Crash Davis” version but a sherku also fits within Twitter!
For the other readers who may not know what a sherku is, you can find examples and the explanation here: quietpoet.blogspot.com
Holy truncation, Batman! Great job. Must be a BSP thing (Blogger Sensory Perception) I was just thinking of revisiting (but not changing) the Belief Statement theme.
I believe in hope, in love, in now, in the future, in the awesomeness of my children, and in the Oneness of us all.