If We Get A Turn, We Only Get One (So Make the Most of It)

August 10th, 2008 • Click to view Related Articles
Filed Under: Personal Development • The Essence of Me

Now that I’ve decided to never grow up, the next challenge is to deal with what I call “youth envy“.

I’m nearly 49 years old, so while I can do many youthful and child-like things, the fact remains that this ol’ body of mine can no longer do some of the things it used to do. Plus, having to make a living does in fact put a crimp in my ice cream eating, candy store visiting, and playing in the water fountain activities, not to mention the ability to not really worry about money.

REAL childhood, teenage and college years, and young adulthood certainly held some advantages over my daily life today, no question. So a little bit of envy creeps in on occasion, especially when I see younger folks demonstrating athletic prowess and greater stamina, having a full head of hair, or pulling off an “all-nighter” with their friends and still having energy to go to work the next morning (just to name a few).

Fortunately, I’ve found a way to deal with this envy, and I have to say it works pretty well - there’s even a nice little “zen” component that ties in with it.

A couple of years ago it dawned on me that if we’re lucky, we all get to be 10 in our lives, or 15, or 22, or 25. But just once. We all get our turn, as it were. So as I sit here now at 48, to get past my envy I look at a 22 year-old doing something I can no longer do and think, “hey I had my turn to be 22 - now it’s his turn. I hope he makes the most of it”.

We’re all represented by time lines, starting at one point and ending at another. The funny thing is, none of us overlap exactly. But until we can figure out a way to go back in time, there are no “do overs” in this life. No “mulligans”.

So that 22 year-old is getting his shot at being 22. That lasts for exactly 365 days, as it has for every single person on this earth that was fortunate enough to live that long.

I’m now getting my turn at 48, and I’m about a little more than half-way through it. You can bet I’m trying my best to make the most of it, quit worrying about “youth envy” and just getting on with what’s in front of me.

And that’s the zen part - making sure I don’t lose my turn. Don’t lose yours either.

“NEXT!”

There Are 8 Responses So Far. »

  1. Comment by Vicky H on 11 August 2008:

    I think this post is what a lot of people are thinking…

    Your right, we are blessed to have lived this long, I don’t know if I could do it all over again, I’m pooped from the first round. :-)

  2. Comment by Karen Putz/DeafMOm on 11 August 2008:

    Ah, what keeps me going is some of the “elderly” people who break all the rules of age– like Banana George– who learned to waterski at 50 and is barefooting at the age of 91.

    So youth envy doesn’t have to exist if you break some rules. :)

  3. Comment by Lara, The Data Digger on 11 August 2008:

    When I see a young person, I think to myself “Been there. Done that. Don’t want to do it again.”

    @Vicky H - agreed. I made it this far, once was enough :)

  4. Comment by Luis Sandoval Jr. on 11 August 2008:

    I am turning 30 this year, and while it is still young, I’m starting to feel some of the changes that come with being an adult, a father, husband, and career professional.

    What worked when I was 20 does not work now, what worked when I was 25 does not work now. I don’t necessarily consider myself “old” but you make a good point in that we all do it just once.

    Sometimes I look back at the days my wife and I were engaged, or even our first two years of marriage prior to kids and wish that we had some of those carefree days again, but I would never trade my children in for anything in this world. That’s when I realize that right now not only am I making every day count for myself as a 29 year old, but I’m playing a part in making everyday the best day possible for my 4 year old and my 2 year old.

    Thanks for putting this out there, it’s definitely something we should all stop and reflect on.

  5. Comment by Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D. on 13 August 2008:

    This post made me laugh thinking about the many stages of life and things we did that were oh so important.

    I’m 64, and even though I couldn’t visualize being this age when I was young, I can truly say that I enjoyed every stage along the way. Although I have to remind myself not to judge young people sometimes, I enjoy watching them and learning from them.

    I have 4 children, ages 27 through 39, and three teenage grandchildren. I just retired from 20 years teaching community college students. I’m very grateful to have frequent and meaningful contact with younger people to help me at least be aware of the cutting edge, even if I’m not always on it.

    What I enjoy most about being my current age is I don’t take things seriously anymore, I care more about what I think than about what others think, and I know how to make meaningful use of my time. There are plenty examples of folks who started new careers and tackled new challenges after 60. I’m one of those.

  6. Comment by Luis Sandoval Jr. on 13 August 2008:

    RE: Flora Morris Brown

    Thank you so very much for chiming in on this conversation. It’s great to see someone, 64 years young, who truly appreciates every day of life that they were given.

    It’s encouraging to see someone with your outlook. So many in your age group resolve themselves to be unimportant an unnecessary in today’s progressive world.

    I am sure your service to those young minds is greatly appreciated, and congrats on the 20 years of dedication in doing so. I wish you luck on your new ventures and hope you experience even more success with the tasks at hand.

  7. Comment by Starbucker on 15 August 2008:

    Hi Vicky,Karen, Lara, Luis and Flora! Thank you all for your comments.

    I think “been there, done that” sums this up rather well!

    I’m also inspired by all of your positive perspectives on the art of living.

    Thanks again, and all the best!

  8. Comment by Writer Dad on 15 August 2008:

    You have a really wonderful perspective. I’m half way between the twenty-two and the forty-nine, though I must admit, I’d much rather be forty-nine than twenty-two all over. Have a great weekend.

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