I’ve Come to Bury Starbucks, Not to Praise Him

(with apologies to William Shakespeare)

Julius Starbucks, Act III, Scene II

{Prologue: Julius Starbucks lays on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, with traders and consumers delighting in his demise.}

{His close friend, Terry Starbucker, begins to speak……}

“Friends, Twitterers, Blogosphereans, lend me your handheld devices

I’ve come to bury Starbucks, not to praise him

The mistakes that companies do lives after them

The good is oft interred with their stock certificates

So let it be with Starbucks. The noble business scribes

Hath told you Starbucks was ambitious

If it were so, it was a strategic fault

And strategically hath Starbucks answer’d it

Here under leave of stockbrokers and the rest–

For stockbrokers are honourable men

Come I to speak at Starbucks demise

He was my friend, always with hot lattes to me

But analysts say he was ambitious

And analysts are honourable men

He had brought many other businesses to the latte trade

Who profited too from his good fortunes

Did this in Starbucks seem ambitious?

When the workers wanted good benefits, Stabucks complied

Ambition should be made of less costly stuff

Yet some consumers say he was ambitious

And some consumers are honourable men

You all did see that in the coffee world

He was presented beans from unfair trade

Which he did many times refuse: was this ambition?

Yet critics say he was ambitious

And sure, critics are honourable men

I speak not to disprove of that the stock market spoke

But here I am to speak what I do know

You all did love those lattes once, not without cause

What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?

O judgement! Thou art fled to Dunkin or to the Arches Golden

And coffee drinkers have lost their reason

Bear with me;

My heart is on the floor there with Starbucks

And I must pause until the stock comes back to 40″

{to be continued………..}

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