E-mail and The Decline of Western Civilization: An Open Letter

April 29th, 2008 • Click to view Related Articles
Filed Under: Personal Development

April 29, 2008
To the Loyal Readers of RFGHF
Anyplace, Anywhere in the Virtual World

My Dear Readers,

Last night my wife and I watched the final installment of the brilliant “John Adams” mini-series on HBO. The episode featured the amazing letters that Adams and Thomas Jefferson wrote each other during the final chapters in their lives.

Hand-written with great care and conviction, the words flowed like prose, two fathers of our country putting their thoughts on paper for each other to savor.

For some strange reason, the eloquence of those words moved me to tears as I sat there watching and listening. And then it dawned on me – I was actually mourning something that had virtually disappeared from my life, and from the civilization in which I live.

The hand-written word. The formal letter, with all the proper trimmings, punctuation, salutations and sign-offs.

I didn’t realize how much I missed it until that moment.

I thought back more than 30 years ago, when I would anxiously await the local mail delivery person in the hope he or she would be carrying a letter from my girlfriend, who lived 90 miles away. There wasn’t e-mail or instant messaging back then. I couldn’t simply tap out a “hi grlfnd” with a smiley face at a moment’s notice to express my deep innermost feelings.

I had to put them on paper, in my own hand and with all the “properness” I could muster.
There was time to think, time to ponder, and time to construct, a series of words and sentences that actually worked within the framework of proper English usage, and conveyed, because of the intimate nature of this type of correspondence, a great depth of feeling.

I lamented that in this day and age, I don’t do much thinking about my correspondence - I just plant myself in front of a computer (or cradle that Blackberry in my hand), and start banging away at the hundreds of e-mails in my in-box.

And because of time constraints, the responses are typically quick, truncated, pithy, and utterly unmemorable. Grammar, salutations, punctuation, and even spelling are thrown out the window for the utility of immediacy.

Yes, that seems to be the world we’re in today – and I am a full participant, I admit. But I feel sometimes that while my world has grown from a foot to a mile wide because of the power of our digital world, it’s only an inch deep.

21 years ago, my first boss was a great lover of words and language. I recall having to work for hours and hours on a simple inter-office memo to make sure he was pleased with what I had written. He had strict rules for the layout of the memos, down to the use of proper grammar and (of course), proper greetings and sign-offs.

And if you used a word that didn’t fit, he’d call you on it. If something was misspelled, he’d call you on it. As a result my memos ended up being near-literary masterpieces, concise, structured, proper, and above all else, addressed properly.

At the time I hated the lengths I had to go to simply ask permission for something as mundane as procuring a vendor, but now I understand where he was coming from. He died in 1997, before e-mail came into its own, so I often try to think how he would have reacted to that means of communication. Actually, I know how he would have reacted to it- very badly.

He would have said “Oh my dear Terry (yes, he even used proper salutations when he spoke!), yes, e-mail is practical , but I can take no satisfaction from it, like I can with the written and spoken word. I want to have depth! I want to “feel” what you are trying to say, and better judge your intent and character. I can’t do that with a response like “10-4, wl do””

All those memories and lessons bubbled up as I listened to John Adams and Thomas Jefferson’s words, and saw the handwritten letters (and the impeccable penmanship – my handwriting is horrible).

I know I can’t really go back – for example, as much as I wish I could pick up a piece of paper and handwrite all of you a heartfelt note thanking you for reading this blog, I know it can’t come to pass – but I can pledge to put just a little bit more thought, a little more depth, and a better sense of structure into everything I write.

Even on those 140 character “Twitters”.

Because I want you to better judge my character, and figure out if any further reading of these ramblings is really worth your while.

I sincerely hope that you decide in the affirmative.

My Very Best Regards,
Mr. Terry Starbucker

There Are 18 Responses So Far. »

Comment by Maria Palma on 29 April 2008:

Dear Terry,

Handwritten notes is a practice that I’ve been doing for the past year. It’s an art that gives me such pleasure because I actually make all my own cards and write my own thoughts in them. It’s one of the major things I took away from my employment at Nordstrom.

There’s something about a handwritten letter or note that is powerful. My boyfriend and I still give each other notes and cards. I think it’s probably one of the reasons why we’re still together (We’ve known each other for 11 years).

Thanks so much for another inspiring post! All the best to you…
Comment by Steve Woodruff on 29 April 2008:

Terry,

It is tough not to surrender to the pervasive shorthand that surrounds us - and the fear is, that the short-hand will reflect short-thought. Yet even in 140 characters - perhaps especially so - great writing can emerge. Because the essence of great writing is distillation.

So I’ll shut up now…
Comment by Andrew Coffey on 29 April 2008:

Mr Starbucker
Churchill “brevity on is the soul of wit”

In haste
Andrew
Coffey
Comment by amypalko on 29 April 2008:

Do you know a poem, Terry, called A World Where News Traveled Slowly by Lavinia Greenlaw? I did a voice thread on it a while back where I read the first stanza:
http://voicethread.com/share/43512/
I’m thinking I might rerecord it with the full poem, but I haven’t done it yet.
Anyway, I think you’ll really like it, as it fits perfectly with your post here.
Have fun at SOBCon!
Amy
xx
Comment by Rosa Say on 29 April 2008:

Aloha Terry,

I eagerly join you in making the same pledge, for I too “can pledge to put just a little bit more thought, a little more depth, and a better sense of structure into everything I write.”

Handwriting cards and letters can bring us such a feeling of joy and accomplishment; we feel like more gracious, thoughtful human beings within the deliberate care it takes. I have a box of letters that my father had written to me while away at the VietNam war, and then while living in Italy for a while. He’s now been in heaven for eighteen years, and those handwritten letters of his, all several pages long, are among my most prized possessions.

Mahalo my friend for your thoughtful inspiration.
Rosa
Comment by Melissa (Pronoia) Pierce on 30 April 2008:

My husband and I have a notebook we share, we write in it whatever fills our heads to share with one another. What I’ve found even now in the era of texts and twitter, is that we save our juiciest most interesting experiences for the book.
Comment by Starbucker on 30 April 2008:

Thanks Maria, Steve, Andrew, Amy, Rosa, and Melissa for stopping by!

Maria, the fact that you and your boyfriend are still exchanging handwritten notes is quite inspiring - I think I’ll do that myself with my wife.

Steve, distillation indeed. Well said.

Andrew, you can never go wrong quoting Churchill. I use his stuff all the time.

Amy, I will certainly check out your voice thread - it sounds wonderful (and timely!)

Rosa, the thought of those letters from your father hits me right in the same place as what prompted me to write this post - sometimes words are things to treasure. Thanks.

Melissa, that’s another great example of what I was talking about in my post - there’s just “more” to the handwritten word, isn’t there?

Thanks again to you all, and all the best!
Comment by Jesse Petersen on 30 April 2008:

It’s neat that you should be pondering this… we always seem to be on the same brainwave.

Just yesterday, I left my wife a note on a 3×5 index card that I wrote on in the dark before leaving for work.

It’s amazing how 6 small words can mean so much when the time is obviously taken to put them to paper, even if it was a yellow notecard.
Comment by Jared Goralnick on 30 April 2008:

Sigh…I also agree that the written word is in decline. I think if we all slowed down, wrote some real correspondence, and got to know each other better we’d be much better off.

But instead I’ll be seeing you with 300 other people at SOB Con ;-). Looking forward to it, and will continue to check out your writing (I actually lamented similarly a while back on my personal site)
Comment by Nadine Touzet on 1 May 2008:

I came across this blog by chance, and I’d like to thank you for these words, I feel very much the same about these new developments, even though I must admit that in other ways (business-wise), e-mail has really been immensely useful.

Alas, in my own field of non-literary translation, the situation is just as bad. The fascination for all forms of automatic/machine translation is turning written, and indeed any kind of words, into spiritless units that you can slice and dice and rearrange with little respect for what language is all about.
Comment by Tom Vander Well on 1 May 2008:

Well written, Terry - and thank you.

My thoughts have been running in a similar vein:

http://creativepath.typepad.com/wayfarer/2008/03/intimacy-lost.html

Cheers!
Comment by Mario Vellandi on 2 May 2008:

Terry, I finished the audiobook last night on my drive home and was getting teary-eyed myself.
The lesson learned for me learned is that with all communication now through email, I must try and be cognizant of applying differing writing styles, richer vocabulary, and varying lengths appropriate to the situation. Also important, is to reach out per telephone as well - a short 3-5 minute phone call and hearing someone’s voice can be an intensely personal experience, and a great way to add that special touch.
Comment by Brad Shorr on 4 May 2008:

Terry, all - I’m with Rosa. There is something warm and joyful and real about receiving a handwritten letter. But our steady movement to keyboards is not something I can get too worked up about — technology is always changing and we’re lucky Adams and Jefferson weren’t using chisels on stone tablets. However I think all this online shorthand reduces ideas to caricatures and ought to be used judiciously. Even when it comes to the most mundane things, vigorous use of the English language can elevate a conversation to unexpected heights. The other day at my parents’ house I was reading a collection from Noel Coward’s diary. The man could talk about his breakfast and have you questioning the fate of England.
Comment by Starbucker on 4 May 2008:

Hi Jesse, Jared, Nadine, Tom, Mario and Brad - thanks so much for stopping by (I apologize for the delay in responding - I’ve been at SOBCon08 this weekend)

Jesse, yep, even 6 words can have the same force as, say, 140.

Jared, SO great to visit with you at SOBCon, and thanks for reading those words of mine - I’ll gladly return the favor.

Nadine, thanks for finding me! And I appreciate your eloquent comment. Come back again

Tom, we do think alike quite often, don’t we?

Mario, words, especially the richer ones, are such wonderful tools to convey thoughts and emotions. May we never lose that in our language.

Brad (great to see ya at SOBCon), now I need to read that diary. And I love your use of the word vigorous.

All the best to you all!

Terry
Comment by Brad Shorr on 5 May 2008:

Terry, I said diary but it’s a collection of letters. Title, “The Letters of Noel Coward”.
Comment by susan on 6 May 2008:

After reading your post I went and wrote 2 thank you notes. Now I am back to say thank you for making me think and get past my typical
“instant” way of communicating.

I, too, want to make this a way of life.
Comment by Starbucker on 6 May 2008:

Thanks Brad for the clarification

Hi Susan -thanks for stopping by.
I’m so happy this post has helped you, like it has helped me. I’m still working on it, but getting there….

All the best!
Comment by Travis Retzlaff on 8 May 2008:

The amount of throwaway/garbage writing has increased to be sure, but I think the amount of thoughtful writing is increasing as well…

In the end it is our reactions and usage patterns of the technology that need adjustment. The technology, be it email, twitter, blogging, etc, is just a tool. The technology can cause a “step backwards” in terms of overall progress, but sometimes that is necessary to see the path forward..